Just a chick trying to figure out life. These are my confessions.

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So there I am! Living it up in my 30-somethings with a ridiculously hot hubby, 3 seriously outgoing matter-of-fact smart beautiful kids, a cat named Roxii that just won't quit, 2 chihuahuas named Lokii (what was I thinking) and Brodii who don't understand the concept of pee outside.

I'm a strongly opinionated, outspoken, inappropriate and absolutely unapologetic chick going through this thing called life and trying to do it with my sanity intact. So far, this isn't working out so well!

Follow me as I confession myself straight to the LCBO. My rants, my way...you've been warned ;) Xo

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You are here: Home / , , Yeah Baby, I'm Worth It

Yeah Baby, I'm Worth It

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Well shit. Today just happens to be one of those self reflection days at the good old 9 to 5 (not really, more like 8.30-7 but who's keeping track?!). Today seems like the day that everyone is saying 'wft am I doing here?'; myself included.

I always thought by the time I was all "growed" up I would have everything in place. Perfect family. Perfect job. Perfect house. Perfect car. So at this point in my life, based on the track record here I have come to the conclusion that I am NOT "growed" up. Or at the very least I'm halfway there. Halfway is better than no where near close right? (Agree with me -- please).

Do I have the perfect family? Nope. Not even close but I have realized I don't want it either. I like the crazy fucked up family that I have. I am making reference to not only my immediate husband and kids family (Psst we are actually perfect though), but my extended immediate family. They are all sorts of Jerry Springer and shit, but I'm ok with that. That is what makes us unique...and crazy...and needing anger management classes. Actually scratch all that. My family makes me bat-shit neurotic about 98% of the time and I'd like to slap each of them individually, all at the same time and then push them down a flight of 'are you fucking kidding me?' as well.

Perfect job? Let's come back to that one.

Perfect house? Bahahaha NO. I really thought by now I would have found a house I loved and could turn into a home and grow old and make solid memories in. Fast forward to the present and I absolutely hate where I live. I rent. I rent and it is a house from the 1960s that has had zero upgrades done (besides the toilet when we moved in, thanks boo boo) because they don't care. It is simply an investment property for the one remaining couple that owned it and the kids don't give a shit because they all own their own big monster houses and they are just waiting for their mother to kick the bucket so that they can sell and move on.

Why don't I buy? Well we can come back to that point another day, another post and another time. Long story short is you have to have stupid income to be able to buy anywhere in the vicinity of where I would like to live. I want to be close to my mother because I love her, but I love her handicapped parking priviledges at Wal-Mart more...I kid, I kid...not really lol. So in short if I would like to move into a house that has enough bedrooms for my apparently enormous family of 5 (that is sarcasm by the way) and 2 bathrooms, I need to make approximately $500,000 combined because the housing prices here are astronomical if you need those above essentials. So we rent. Fuck.

Perfect car? I don't even think I need to touch this one. I said I would never drive a van and we have been there and done that. Now I drive a gas guzzling beast because I needed all the room. Now I gotta sell that and buy something else completely. At this rate is will never, ever, EVER be my perfect car.

Now then, let's move on to perfect job.

*Sigh*

Can I get a show of hands for how many people are satisfied with their jobs? In all aspects? Like I thought, majority of you are probably good. I on the other hand, am in the small minority. It isn't that I don't like my job, I actually kind of love what I do but...

BUT...

...why do I constantly end up in situations where I am under-valued? I obviously put myself in these positions but WTF. Why do people think it is ok to take advantage of me and the abilities and skills I bring to the work place?! #1 reason is that I let them. #2 reason is it is SO hard to find a job that can pay me what I'm worth.

What am I worth? Well, a lot more than I get paid for that's for sure. I come from a long time of management in my previous employment, I am amazing with computers, with customer service, with organization, with multi-tasking, with analyzing all sorts of pieces of the job, with being the buffer between one person and the next and yet I seem to allow myself to get shit on. I do not mean when someone is venting. That I can handle as everyone needs that person (or persons) who they can just explode on to get shit off their chest and then move along with their day. With me, getting shit on means being paid SHIT to do the job that they are being paid a ton more for doing. I don't give a fuck if you are the owner of a business, or a GM of a business or a co-owner for that matter, pay your fucking employees their WORTH...not just what you think makes sense in your head. Look at the work load that they have, what they bring to the table, how much easier they make your life and pay them accordingly. It is not rocket science. It is understanding what you have and putting in place what you need to in order to keep it there. I am not being unrealistic in wanting more. Compared to what you make, I make pennies...and honestly, if you don't see it that way or think that you can do it all on your own, I really welcome the challenge. All I need now is someone to make me step away and take that chance. Which I will point out is almost impossible for me because I can't NOT make money. I have bills to pay like everyone else and without that consistency I can't just leap.

Alright so that's my vent. I'm worth more. I know I am but I have a stupidly hard time saying fuck you, pay up or do it yourself. I only have myself to blame but some part of me thinks that somehow someone will shake their head and say wow, you know what? She does a bang up job and she is completely underpaid for what she does. The other part of me is saying to stop going above and beyond and start letting shit sort itself out.

Problem with that is, we all know I won't but I'm worth it.